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Pragmatic, reserved and a deep thinker who loves family, sports especially football where am married to two wives: the first, AC Milan who has my loyalty and the second wife, Manchester United who has all my undying love and pampering, lifestyle and society parties. Need I say the law is more than a profession but a lifestyle for me.

Adekanye Adeyinka Olajide.

I do it for me

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You are here: Home / , WHAT IS MARRIAGE?


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Marriage is the union between two separate individuals by two consenting adults in other to become one to the exclusion of the world, for the world to see! By two people, I mean a man and a woman. Therefore, this discussion does not encapsulate any other contrary to my definition and I do not have to explain why other than that is what my faith teaches me, which is the source of my inspiration.

Consequently, it can be inferred that marriage is the coming together of two ideologies, personalities, experiences, convictions, backgrounds, and tributaries for purposes of a seamless infusion into a unified vision, product, and goal. In other words, two people with autonomous agenda, perspective, desire merge their drive through strategising only for the aim of attaining a singular purpose, which is to love, cherish, adore, appreciate and defend each other for the glorification of that union.

For that reason, marriage is the ultimate covenant to love and commit to committing each time to that ultimate vow no matter what. It is pledge for better for worse, in sickness and in health, in wealth and in dearth, until death renders that vow redundant. Marriage is the realisation that through it all, the only thing to cherish is the person to whom that vow has been offered and nothing else should tear that apart. It is an amalgamation stronger than that of the one Sir Lugard imposed on Nigeria.

Marriage is an investment. In other words, it involves the contribution of the time, efforts, energy, resources, etc of both parties. This is why it is important that we abide that the ultimate rule of marriage, which is for the parties to leave every other thing and cleave unto each other. No other person is as important as your spouse is. Consequently, marriage is making your partner your ultimate project and priority. You must build each other not give that time to any other thing.

Marriage is a feast. It is not just a love feast but also a sexual feast. It is a celebration of love, life, desires, accomplishment, and togetherness. Marriage is the only relationship acknowledged by God and he gives the licence to enjoy sexual satisfaction without limits, constraints, or restrictions. He mandates that we multiply through this union and replace ourselves on earth. He says no partner shall deprive the other of sexual pleasure except when in agreement. God says children are like arrows and those who have them in their quiver are blessed. That is why adultery is an abomination as no individual is expected to drive his/her partner. Above all, he instructs that no man shall put asunder between what he has joined and called one.

Marriage is intimacy. It is not just intimacy trough sex but starting outside it by respecting your husband, brandishing him with pampering and the man serving his wife and spoiling her with affection. Couples can only have explosive sex when they are in harmony with each other’s emotions. Hence, it is important to stay in tune with our partners feelings.

Marriage is the seal that prevents custom, society, religion, and people from infiltrating your union. Once you are married, you realise that your partner is your world and that you are married to him/her to the exclusion of the world. As a result, no custom that says you must enslave your wife will be welcomed in your home. No religion that prevents you from honouring your wife or allowing her to pursue her dreams will be entertained. The norms of the society that contravenes the happiness of your partner will not be given attention to. Above all, you will not allow third parties to tear down your marriage except in cases where you need them to save it through seeking professional help.

From the aforementioned, I am sure you will be wondering if marriage is all bed of roses and where I am getting my ideas from since I am not married myself. Well, there are no roses without thorns and I am inspired from the experiences of others with my challenge to have myself the best marriage. What you must know is that marriage is relentless, conscientious hard work by both parties. Therefore, marriage is a union of two forgivers; the coming together of two people who know that they are not perfect but will do anything to keep their marriage working. It is doing all it takes to keep the union healthy devoid of animosity, unresolved issues, and reproach.

I am your marriage counsellor for today,