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Pragmatic, reserved and a deep thinker who loves family, sports especially football where am married to two wives: the first, AC Milan who has my loyalty and the second wife, Manchester United who has all my undying love and pampering, lifestyle and society parties. Need I say the law is more than a profession but a lifestyle for me.

Adekanye Adeyinka Olajide.

I do it for me

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You are here: Home / , THE WOMAN I SEEK!


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Just the other day some lady asked why I was still single and after reeling out the epistle on why I cannot boast of a concrete serious relationship capable of taking us to the pinnacle of relationship purpose with anyone, she said I am too choosy and that accounts for why I have remained single. She opined that I was not just too fussy but that my requirements of an ideal relationship are over bearing. She admonished that I had to compromise on some of my ideologies and lower the bar a little if I truly desire to be married.

Trust me there was no way I was going to agree with her on this because these are my standards we are talking about here not just some football team like Arsenal who sells their star players as if they are a club in business to raise and sell stars. Not that I cannot do with some gargantuan fee right now even when it is put on players that are overrated but in matters of principle, I stand firm like Rock of Gibraltar except you are offering me some trillion dollars for each principle but I still will not be Arsenal not for a second.

The idea of compromising contravenes the very ethos upon which I have remained grounded. I am writing this because she joined the queue of many women who have asked that I ease some of my expectations in women. I remember vividly about two years back when a lady I was in a relationship that turned out to be brief with said to me; “your presence in the kitchen with me makes me tensed, I feel you are breathing down on my neck, which makes me uneasy.” I mean I love to be in the kitchen with my woman even if all I can offer is ‘talk’ and some silly moves on her body, which was not a problem with her either but I understood what she meant.

This was the first time she was in my house to make me some meal. We had talked about my love for homemade meals – an area I have limited experience in terms of making varieties so she wanted to show her expertise but after letting her rule my kitchen like an area chief, the kitchen got too hot with me in it. She was set to boil the chicken but I noticed that despite rinsing the chicken thoroughly, all the parts still had enough hair to cover a chick. Trust me, I was not monitoring her, but since I know no chef or doctor advices that hair be eaten; I pointed out that we needed to deprive the chicken the glory of boiling with its hair! She concurred thankfully but by the time she was set to cook, she wanted to add maggi, which I abhor and I duly protested. At this time she pointed out that, I had also stylishly handed her the onions, ginger, and garlic as spice.

I asked what was wrong with that. In my books, communication is vital and this being her first time with me, I thought she needed to know how I love my food made by communicating it across rather than tutoring her. Maggi is the companion of the woman who cannot make sumptuous meals. Asides from the fact that it is all chemical; it covers the flaws of a woman in her food (I am not against anyone using it because I know it is a norm these days!). I do not know how I can accommodate a bad meal, it just will not happen. I can compromise when it comes to TV programmes as Ade says; you have to let her enjoy herself even when it is boring to you. That I can do but not when she makes me an awful meal (before you say I am an overbearing chauvinist, or a glutton, note that I am referring to people who can't make any good meal not those who have bad days at the kitchen. Even the best chef can make a bad meal!); steam vividly appears from my head.

It is also easy for me to overlook differences like where we press toothpaste from though I am particular about that too but I cannot compromise in terms of a homebuilder. A woman must be so together that she inspires the greatest love. Women are the home we seek so she must give that assured peace for she is the safe haven to shelter in, not the house.

There is no way I can cope with a woman who can use the same toilet for a week without washing it or one who gives her underwear out to a washman or worse still wears disposable pants so as to avoid washing them; I actually know people who do that.

Need I add that I cannot imagine spending my life with a woman who prefers to spend her time on the beach rather than be in the presence of God? A woman who is a stick with a silicon Barbie body will not tickle my fancy for that woman who cannot appreciate her God given body but prefers to alter it to suit her morbid desires breeds the most destructive insecurity and complex issues that will only lead to a harvest of self-ruin. I want a woman who will not just have sex with me but will enjoy making love to me or be satisfied with our lovemaking.

Why would anyone ask me to settle for a lady with no clear values and definite believes when all I seek is a woman with class and style, one who is so cultured, comport, elegant and unique? I want a woman that I will see God in her. A woman so lost in Christ that it breaks every molecule in me to want to be with her yet knowing she will not judge me. I want a woman that makes me the envy of all men just by being with her. I will therefore not settle with one who bases her conditions on ephemeral things. One who only desires material comfort emanating from her debased values? I am not looking for a woman who finds physical justifications to be with me or loves my potentials but one who says; “to get my kind of woman, you really have to work hard because it takes a little more than special to unlock the love in me.” Now that is the challenge.

...to be concluded.