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Pragmatic, reserved and a deep thinker who loves family, sports especially football where am married to two wives: the first, AC Milan who has my loyalty and the second wife, Manchester United who has all my undying love and pampering, lifestyle and society parties. Need I say the law is more than a profession but a lifestyle for me.

Adekanye Adeyinka Olajide.

I do it for me

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You are here: Home / , , , LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX.

LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX.

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“Let’s talk about sex baby, let’s talk about you and me; let’s talk about all the good things, and the bad things maybe, let’s talk about sex…” – SALT ‘N’ PEPA.

I do not know if any of you remembers that song but I do so well because I was a big lover of the song in the early 90’s. Although I had no means of collecting songs then, I knew the lyrics of the song like the national anthem. Whenever, it came across the waves on the radio, I will mime to it with intense vigour though I did not know a lot about sex but that song gave me so much excitement just by hearing it. As time would reveal, I realised that sex is not just a word connoting gender but an action involving consummation though not through any legal means between opposite sex to birth an erotically intense relationship.

Although, I do not pass for an early starter in terms of sex like most of you who probably started at your adolescent age or some of you who started from the womb but right now, I am sure we all can share our experiences and not beat anyone to it. There are no awards for it and as I am writing this, millions are definitely kick starting their sexual journey, which may turn out to be memorable or forgettable; hence, there is no late comer as well. The only thing that matters is that most of our sexual lives are shaped by such experiences.

Why I am writing this is because I have seen that many of our relationships, marriages inclusive fail mainly because we all do not talk about sex. Consequently, I have decided to share the little I know with you.

Usually, it is either our parents never told us about it or we just did not have enough resources to equip us on sex. Therefore, for most of us, by the time, we have sex; we are either not prepared, lack understanding about it or forced into it via ignorance and it becomes a nightmare for us, which is why you hear some people ask if they are still virgins after penetration. For others, our parents have filled us with distorted information about sex that it becomes befuddling. For example, like the possibility of getting pregnant upon approaching our male counterpart or that coming in physical contact with the opposite sex is deadly. There is no doubting that these ideas are not just fallacious but very confusing, which sets the mark for the beginning of waywardness by most.

To be honest, looking back at my upbringing, I am proud of it because my parent had no reason to educate us about sex. She literally kept us away from the world and it is true that what you have no knowledge of cannot harm you. In my early days, there were just land phones and I do not remember spending my time anywhere else asides home. Our mum left us in no ones care; that was her exclusive jurisdiction. No house cleaner bathe me or provided my meals; all they did was wash. She will pick us up from school after dropping us in the morning. If we had any friends, she knew them. Our television experience was limited only to CNN, CN, and the entire news channel, which we all watched together, I still have my Aladdin videocassette in my store because those were the movies cherished, and when we saw movies that had kissing scenes, we needed not be told to close our eyes. Hence, it was a sane, safe world I grew up in and I knew nothing at all about sex.

Therefore, when the time came for me to have sex, I picked on books and read vastly on sexual topic and functions of genital organs. I read about all the sensitive parts in women’s body and their erotic spots – saw pictures in books. I also began to ask many question from other boys who had engaged in it although my knowledge on the subject matter blinded them to the fact that I was na├»ve. I soon realised though that boys only bragged about their exploits and did less than they claimed. I got closer to girls and began to see sex in their view – it is an emotional process involving many preparations. I began to fall more in tune with the perspective of girls because I knew they had no brag in them and revealed more; that way, sex became clearer to me.

I soon started reading on women’s emotional state in relation to their physical needs after deducing that their emotion is a key component. I started to realise that for them, sex was more about the before and after than during. During my initial exploits, size meant nothing so there was no intimidation, as I could not even say what category I was in since I had seen no other apart from mine. Then I launched out to practise my research but they never ended with more than a few smooches in dark places or at angle90 at most and lots of holding and hugging generally, which will get me thrilled. I could not take any girl home but I was beginning to feel sensual. Thinking of it now, I wish I remembered my first kiss but I do not; I am sure I must have swallowed her whole mouth and put more spit in hers than a viper.
Anyway, as I got into the university, I got closer with my cousins and Tboy in particular is a lady’s man. I could not imagine the ease at which he was getting into ladies pants. Luckily, Tboy spoke a lot about his escapades with me and I will listen and take notes in my head. I will ask him a lot about sex with how girls prefer it. He had a friend then called Yinka – not me, who was a notorious Lothario. He used my cousin’s room and when he brings girls home, I could not sleep for he brought them home daily except he was in another town. I doubt anyone slept because the hall was always overpowered with screams or proclamations of ‘you are the best Yinka.’ In fact, on one occasion, a girl ran out of the room pulling the cotton for cover to escape his stamina. On the other hand, OSU girls were still tricking me in my premature diploma days.

...to be concluded.
ADEKANYE ADEYINKA .O.