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Pragmatic, reserved and a deep thinker who loves family, sports especially football where am married to two wives: the first, AC Milan who has my loyalty and the second wife, Manchester United who has all my undying love and pampering, lifestyle and society parties. Need I say the law is more than a profession but a lifestyle for me.

Adekanye Adeyinka Olajide.

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You are here: Home / , WHO LIES THE MOST IN A RELATIONSHIP?

WHO LIES THE MOST IN A RELATIONSHIP?

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I remember asking you all to slow your horses in sparking a gender debate on which the greatest liar is in my last post. Today, you can unleash that inclination to defend your gender against the other, though we know you might not make a sufficiently convincing justification of why you think one is a better liar than the other is, we will still crave your indulgence. Well, as much as I would love to throw it open, I will be limiting it only to who lies most in relationships.

We know women lie; men lie but let us try point out the greatest liar in relationships. There is nothing stealthy that either human have a way of concealing details directly, discreetly, unintentionally, or they fabricate many issues by exhibiting falsehoods in other matters once it deals with their partner in the relationship. Therefore, it is almost a culture, not iconic or lofty anyway, to lie to one’s partner regardless of the solemn declaration of love to one another.

A major lie I perceive as detrimental to most relationships, which is common to virtually every relationship is telling each other that they are our only partner. This is ridiculously deceitful. I still cannot come to terms why people blatantly lie to each other on loyalty and faithfulness. Asides from the fact that Africans are very polygamous in nature, which makes it almost impossible to keep a partner, it has been proved that often than not, there is always another admirer or a secret lover who enjoys an amorous relationship with a partner lurking in the dark part of our heart.

We fail to realise that when we lie about core things in relationships, we give room for suspicion and there are tendencies of discovering something about a romantic partner, which makes lying tough to overlook. These discoveries are unnerving as they violate our concept of affection and trust.

We also lie about our feelings for others, especially when we are sexually attracted to somebody other than our lover or who we have a crush on. Many have argued that women conceal these feelings more than men because for a man, it is all over his eyes when he is filled with desires for another woman while a woman could have gone as far as getting intimate with the one she has a strong crush on. Usually, women are caught in the web of ex-lovers and they begin to hide their contact with them from their present lover. For men, this is a lot more complicated.

Similarly, we both lie about how we spend our time. When our partner asks us on how we are spending our time and our location, we lie. However, there is a feeling that women again here have the advantage of cleaning their tracks on how they spent their day since they are naturally secretive. Men contend that if a man lies about his location and timing, there are every chance of being caught as the alcohol breathe gives them out, feminine colon on body, or stain of lipstick.

Crucially, partners lie about sexual issues. Here, the male folk seem to be guiltier as women claim that they lie about such issues as masturbation and the number of times they engage in the act or pornography. They both seem to lie about sexual fantasies, desires, and cravings for different exploration. On the other hand, men also contend that women lie about sexual satisfaction claiming ‘you are the best,’ ‘that was great’ to their men when they really did not enjoy it.

Furthermore, lovers lie about sexual facts. In this regard, women are culpable. Women are almost unrepentant in lying about their virginity; in fact, it is rampant among women.

Although we all lie about ‘body count,’ and I have used this not in journalism parlance but in the number of times one has been laid. It is put forward again here that women lie about the number of men they have engaged sexually for purposes of dignity and respect, thereby reducing the number drastically and that is why there is a rule unofficially to multiply the number she tells you by 3 so as to have a near accurate number of her escapades. For men on the other hand, it is said that they exaggerate the number of women they have shagged. Hence, women also reduce the number by dividing by 3.

It is also said that lovers lie about disapproving thoughts especially of family members. There are family members of our lover that we cannot stand yet we pretend to enjoy their company. We even go to the extent of praising and wrongfully declaring love for them just because we know they are important to our partners. It gets worse when we lie about liking our lover’s job though it sucks or about those who admire them when in fact; our friends or families are not so fond of them.

When we talk about harmful addictive behaviours such as gambling, alcohol, drugs, and sex who are the biggest liar? Traditionally, it is considered that these adverse habits are traits for men but women are also trapped in these habits and they are one that partners usually keep from each other but who does this more?

No doubt, lovers lie to each other on matters of belief so as not to offend the opinion of the other person or to avoid drawing condemnation from them. We also lie over financial issues to prevent our partner from knowing how much we earn so they do not have an idea on how we spend it. Then, there is lying on health issues so as not to draw pity, lack of confidence, or out of shame. Others lie about their insecurities, career path and accomplishment, jealousy and emotions.

I am sure waiting for your responses on which of the genders is the greatest liar in the aforementioned issues enunciated by me.

Thanks.

ADEKANYE ADEYINKA .O.