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Pragmatic, reserved and a deep thinker who loves family, sports especially football where am married to two wives: the first, AC Milan who has my loyalty and the second wife, Manchester United who has all my undying love and pampering, lifestyle and society parties. Need I say the law is more than a profession but a lifestyle for me.

Adekanye Adeyinka Olajide.

I do it for me

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The biggest bane of having a successful relationship in these modern times is social media. Sincerely, it is almost impossible to keep a relationship functioning the right way with all the distraction the modern world has to offer. Chief of it is the influence of the social media on our affairs. With the advent of the ever-evolving social media and its tools, the world, now at our fingertips with temptations raging and contentment constantly tested. Unlike before, there are exposures to various options to choose from, making it difficult to stick to an individual as we see the beauty in many others that overshadow the flaws inherent in our partners.
In the past, it was easier to keep relationships under control and easy to be a model for our partner as they simply had limited options of who to look up to compared to today. Now, it is rife to contend with many issues and struggle with many things if we do not stay focused. In fact, options are infinite and opportunities abound to mix, interact, and explore. Independence now, more pronounced with people constantly wanting to find their feet with no hindrance and stake their claim to making their choices uninfluenced. The lack of ability to respect each other more, to have strict core values we adhere to, and to place objects far above human by cherishing our prized assets more, giving all of our time to them, has cost us the true deep meaning and essence of human relationship.
In fact, at the rate people spend time punching screens and key pads of their devices, there is little or no time to pay attention to the emotional groans and yearnings of others. As we focus solely on our virtual imaginary friends who we explore together with, relationships suffer for it as we no longer lay emphasis on forging them. We have all created a new path to explore because of the excitement of being anonymous. We can exhibit our fantasies with them and feel safe, the internet offers too many hubs to peruse, and we literally can live our lives on the net without paying any attention to the real world for all we need is available. There is an app for everything and anything.
Times we used to spend on analyzing each other and becoming intimate, now given to our gadgets. People go on a date and still get busy with their phones calling the fact that it is rude and anti social, a bluff. Some cannot exist without their phones. They are always on it, caught up in the virtual and often fake world with gossips and stories of other people, rather than create time to invest in their lives. At dinner tables now, the entire family is busy with something on their device and the precious family time short-changed. The world is currently one of instant messaging and most do not have the discipline to refrain from the urgency of reply. Some get offended when you do not acknowledge or read their messages.
Indeed, most relationships still working now are a miracle and those involved are miracle children. The sanity of relationships has been raped and usurped with the ‘me time.’ Partners want to be alone rather than spending precious time together to making an enormous story out of their lives. They allot their quality time to spending it on the internet; senselessly wrapped up monitoring the lives of those who are busy avoiding the paparazzi. They are busy finding scoops, downloading apps, games, and juicy news that the creators are making money off them.
Trust me; there is no harm in surfing and having an account in every social tool in the world. However, what I am saying is we must know when to draw the line and realise there are critical times when real life needs immediate attending to. It is crucial to be able to identify the most important things in our lives and give them the attention the desire. I believe that a cybernetic world is nothing compared to a real world. The relationships we have deserve our time, attention, commitment, dedication, and conscientious effort. It is an affair that demands all or nothing; we cannot give a part or a little of our time or resources to the one we claim to love. You have to plunge in and trudge on.
I know this is a difficult thing to achieve; however, it is not impossible no matter how addictive you are to the social world. Truly, I understand all the issues you might be battling with but regardless, nothing suffices when it comes to treating people right. Some people might find it impossible to overcome because they are even silly enough to devote more time to their devices than to their God – they receive calls and chat at places of service. However, we must realise that strengthening our relationship is a matter of priority and everyone saddled with this responsibility should uphold it.
It is not just a weakness but also an irresponsible act reflecting a reckless lapse by concentrating on temporary things over permanent and valuable things. Whatever the thrill the internet brings or the joy we get from it, it is incomparable to that of real human relationship. Your phone and its hassles such as messages and calls can wait when you are with not just your beloved but also any other human for that matter. You will not lose anything by returning your calls or replying those mails later. I know people are at the other end too but you need to show respect to the one who has given you all of his/her time. I am not propounding the ‘glorification of busy’ as your reasons for ignoring messages. All I am saying is show that people who are with you count and you value them.
It is an entitlement for you to guard your relationship jealously and defend it against petty issues subverting the purpose of your relationship. In my honest opinion, social platforms are an insignificant part of life although they are a medium to meeting special people who form a core part of our lives; they are not supposed to usurp relationships in our lives. Usage of the social platforms should not be at the detriment of distinctive relationships in our lives.