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Pragmatic, reserved and a deep thinker who loves family, sports especially football where am married to two wives: the first, AC Milan who has my loyalty and the second wife, Manchester United who has all my undying love and pampering, lifestyle and society parties. Need I say the law is more than a profession but a lifestyle for me.

Adekanye Adeyinka Olajide.

I do it for me

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You are here: Home / , CHOOSING THE RIGHT SPOUSE.



I know I am married single but then I have seen marriages work, young couples blossoming in love, and I have been a part of successful relationships that have led to marriage that I am witnessing tremendous renewal of love. Therefore, this gives me the privilege to at least talk about how to choose a spouse if not how to make our marriages work, which is something that I can also talk about. Choosing a spouse correctly is a matter of providence, and how to do so is something that everyone wants to know about and I am sure every piece of information to achieving it is welcome.

At least even if the world has deviated from the purpose of marriage, which is to procreate, multiply, all of us regardless of our sexual dispositions concur that marriage exists foremost for companionship. Therefore, we all strive to find that one person whom we can spend the rest of our lives with enjoying the bliss of camaraderie. That special individual must then possess basic things that will continually renew and refresh our love like the fresh morning smell of the lily at the valley. Some of these things, I have seen others practise, others, I have imagined, and those that are a consensus; are what I will be elucidating on today.

I want to state primarily that no one thing applies generally to all marriages or relationships. It is the personality of every individual, their inclinations and tastes that will determine from what perspective you will choose a spouse. However, I will try to touch on every need that will apply to most of us. First and foremost, let me state that to find or choose the right spouse/better half, you must PRAY and one must be the right partner too. We must build ourselves up in such a way that we are exactly what we demand of others. When we are right enough for another, then attracting the right partner becomes easier.

One thing that is universal in every relationship is that thing called LOVE. We must only choose the partner we love, admire and adore. Once love is present, every other flaw is irrelevant. The existence of true love in any relationship is the key thing; as it makes it effortless to cherish, appreciate, and delight in our partner; we realise they are our treasure and then their shortcomings do not matter.

Similarly, it is paramount to build cordiality amongst partners. When you groom, nurture, and grow friendship, there is openness, sincerity, profound and mutual respect for each other. We must be affable towards one another, which builds closeness between partners. Our partner must be that person you can crack a joke with, be your true self in their presence. They must know your bad habits being the ones you can fart in their presence with no shame, belch loudly in their presence, and snore like a generator beside them, chew our nails right in their presence; in fact, you must do those things so frequently that they imbibe it and you start a competition of some sort. My bro was telling me days back that when he farts in the presence of his wife, in a few minutes, she drops a bombshell too.

The beauty of this is that they know your horrible habits yet, they admire you. They pay attention to you, which is important; for only people that truly care pay attention. The bond from this is limitless. The friendship that comes from stroking each other, laughing uncontrollably is joy unrefined. This to me epitomises becoming one in its purest form.

Therefore, to choose a spouse, one must choose that person that makes our heart skip a thousand miles per second, that one person that gives you joy in taking risks for them, the one that makes you delightful in doing the impossible for, that you place their interest far above yours. You must chose that one person you look forward to smiling with, that person that will keep you up late at night just to watch them sleep. That person whom despite you sleeping, can make you smile while they trace our lips, eyes and nose with their fingers, the one who spoils you with kisses as you sleep. Above all, it must be someone whom you cannot stay angry at no matter what they put you through or their offence.