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Pragmatic, reserved and a deep thinker who loves family, sports especially football where am married to two wives: the first, AC Milan who has my loyalty and the second wife, Manchester United who has all my undying love and pampering, lifestyle and society parties. Need I say the law is more than a profession but a lifestyle for me.

Adekanye Adeyinka Olajide.

I do it for me

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You are here: Home / , , , A BITE OF THE CHERRY

A BITE OF THE CHERRY

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Everybody wants one thing or another from you, people always demand a thing of you, and it is like having a piece of the cherry but no one really cares about the cherry as long as their bite satisfies their cravings or they can always have their bite. Essentially, what people want is to make you who they think you will be better as, that person they wish they could have become but could not, that person they can control not minding who you desire to be – such a parochial view if you ask me.

They have some sort of prototype of what they deem an ideal life for you; which they think is fundamental and put themselves in the position of guide master to helping you achieve the outline they have set for you. There is no problem in mentoring and guiding an individual on a certain path but what I fault is declaring the type of life an individual other than ourselves should live and forcing them to abide by those precepts you have laid down rather than helping them to identify where their passion lies and motivating them.

There is no greater disaster than living the life of another, being a photocopy rather than an original, following the dreams of another. It is indeed an irreparable tragedy to exist rather than to live. Everyone has an underling right to becoming whatsoever he or she chooses to be, to doing whatever makes him or her happy at every point in time. It is pertinent that each individual must find his or her own purpose and achieving it – after all, that is the greatest accomplishment in life.

People caught up in demanding everything of us under the sham of pushing us to be the best we can be that they begin to forget that the individual has a mind of his or her own and that at the end of the day, ignore the ripple consequences of their actions and omissions.  In fact, this attitude is a way of creating insecurity and instilling fear of the ‘not good enough syndrome’ in us. The craziness for telling people that they are not successful or fulfilled unless they do what we want from them makes them slip gradually into a place of low self-esteem and they begin to think nothing they do is ever good enough.

Yes, there is nothing bad in telling someone he or she has the capacity to be better and to encourage him or her to achieve that thing he or she thinks impossible. However, do we have an ulterior motive in asking them to get better? Do we take a step back and think of the consequences of our actions, omissions, or condemnations? Do we consider the pressure we put on that individual? Do we think if it is what they want or not?

Sincerely, the pressure is usually too immense for people from the demands of them and many crumble under that burden. Your father wants you to have an outstanding education to put you at an edge over others so that you can be a better person, while your grandpa wants you to end up taking over the family company taking it to the next level from your incredible path of educational exposure. Your friends want you to be more sociable, friendly and trendy rather than too focused on your studies; it is even when confusing when your mother just wants you to look good, be more sexual, and homely so that you can marry a rich man.

They want these dignified ambitions of us. However, the only deadly thing is that no one cares what we want or whether we buy into those beautiful dreams, they want us to live. Maybe all we want is just to be a carpenter or meet needs of people by offering our innovative services; they do not care as long as we fulfil their dreams.

I hereby implore you to go for those things you have always wanted for those are the things that will give you true happiness. No matter what people want of you and how much you want to satisfy them, never forget to please yourself first. The problem with pleasing everyone is you run a risk of becoming fake, lacking identity. The truth is no matter what you do, people will never be satisfied! Therefore, it is better to satisfy yourself and then let others fall in line to fitting in as long as your happiness is not detrimental to those of others. As the cherry determine the people who have a bite from you and ensure they are worthy.

ADEKANYE ADEYINKA .O.