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Pragmatic, reserved and a deep thinker who loves family, sports especially football where am married to two wives: the first, AC Milan who has my loyalty and the second wife, Manchester United who has all my undying love and pampering, lifestyle and society parties. Need I say the law is more than a profession but a lifestyle for me.

Adekanye Adeyinka Olajide.

I do it for me

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You are here: Home / WHY CAN'T WE JUST IGNORE AND SHUT UP?

WHY CAN'T WE JUST IGNORE AND SHUT UP?

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Today I am writing to myself. Yes I know you will be reading but I insist that I am talking to myself, pouring out a note of caution to myself, realising that I have a whole lot of things to learn, implement and impact on my life, which can only by extension affect others around me. I do not remember whom now, but someone once said a man’s greatest achievement is to recreate himself continually, to strive relentlessly to mould himself and be his own master. This to me does not mean an absence of weaknesses but the ability to conceal it, to turn out better each time never showing a once complained shortcoming.

Therefore, a wise individual must learn to simulate and absorb while giving nothing away. The hallmark of a man is to be one of value, to adhere to them, make it the mantra of existence, and reflect it. It is sapping to want to participate in everything. In fact, the wise man must know what battles to wade in. Do not wag tail once it is not yours. Therefore, chief attribute is never to participate in trifling matters even when they concern us; trust me there is nothing more draining. Effectively, we must ignore every issue that drags us into unnecessary time wasting.

If A is success in life, then A equals X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; Z is keeping your mouth shut.

- Albert Einsten.

This quotation brings me to the bewildering question: why can we not just ignore? Remember I told you I would be writing this piece to me initially and here is why. This past week has been a tough one for me emotionally and at its high point, I had reacted to a whole lot of things. Although, not left reeling with disappointment, I realised more that my attempts at reinventing myself over the years were left all shattered in split seconds. It has always been my intonations never to let anyone or anything get to me; not because they cannot but because I fail to let them conquer me leaving me with residues of their overpowering casing a reaction from me and that just shows the whole motive of recreating myself is let down.

As you might be wondering, why I have quoted Albert, I guess you must have picked the reason out already. Well if you have not, it is ‘keeping your mouth shut.’ We can save a whole lot of things with the mouth firmly kept shut. The reason is there is a raging tool in the mouth called the tongue, which spits words like fire that is irreversible, and its power is not in doubt as well. By sealing our mouths and keeping our opinions to ourselves, we can save many things from destruction. I have come to realise that we talk because we want to show how wise we are, to prove we are the right one who knows it all, consequently faulting the opinion of others.

Now, there lies the bane of problems. Have you heard that by keeping ones mouth shut, considering a fool wise becomes compulsory? My point is we can avoid many battles if we keep our mouth firmly in place. It is not every opinion that merits expression. Nothing guarantees that ours is the right one. We must learn to accept that people are different and we have no right to superiority in terms of ideologies. When we care for people, we will accommodate them and vice versa.

Thus, we must learn to ignore. It is exasperating to notice every petty issue and react to them as long as they do not affect our core values, we must learn to bend too. After all, all those things we pay attention to as faults in others and point out are inherent more in us. We are not ever going to be perfect so why can we not be plausible with others. We all have a right to be wrong and since there is no man who can create another, there is no justification whatsoever to correct others. If something is disagreeable to you, cast your eyes away and get your mind busy with something else.

If it affects your core values, and it is an Achilles’ heel in the other, which strains your relationship with them, you have the prerogative to call their attention to it and explain how it makes you feel so they know and can change. If they do not, desist from enhancing your ties with such individual; it is as simple as that.

Accordingly, that an individual is lousy, garrulous, rough, prefers a different background, house, car or dresses shabbily, is none of your business if you can only condemn rather than offer suggestions. We forget that we come from different background, have formed ingrained ideologies, and have taste for different things, which means no one person can be the same with another. It is either you cope, accommodate them or you just jump right out of their lives as if you are in an aeroplane that is about to crash.

I am just going to ask you one last time, do you know what it feels like to view the world from every individual’s perspective, if you cannot answer me in the affirmative, then why can you not just keep to your own views and ignore the shortcomings of another? Keeping your mouth shut will really save you from much harm with the attractive advantage of judged wise.


ADEKANYE ADEYINKA .O.