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Pragmatic, reserved and a deep thinker who loves family, sports especially football where am married to two wives: the first, AC Milan who has my loyalty and the second wife, Manchester United who has all my undying love and pampering, lifestyle and society parties. Need I say the law is more than a profession but a lifestyle for me.

Adekanye Adeyinka Olajide.

I do it for me

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As a child, I grew up watching tales by moonlight and countless stories of the tortoise pulling various stunts either of out running the cheetah or how it has shell formed from broken back case. It took me close to two decades to realise that the tortoise no matter how brilliant it is, could not have pulled up all the stunts it did. I laugh at myself now when I think of how much I anticipated tales under the tree with the moon shining in its splendour not knowing it were pure fables.

Well, as you all can see or imagine, I am more grown up now, not necessarily resistant to learning, but with lots of tales to tell myself. I am an embodiment of various experiences that have pervaded my person. This has made it more difficult to permeate me with distorted facts as well as conjured statistics springing from tenuous fallacies. In essence, I know when something is black, it cannot be blue, and I am able to discern when permutations thrown in the air. It needs no supervision in helping me from sieving the shaft from the wheat. It is clear that one who applauds a lunatic is not far from being mad.

Before I get you worked up and concluding I have stray thoughts, I am actually worried by the fables that our country; Nigeria, has been reeling out from the stables of those at the helms of affairs. In the past weeks, I think they have gotten tired altogether of their duty of administration of affairs, not that I blame them for they are a confused lot after all. However, it is enough to revel in the fact that our leaders are as morose as we are with the affairs of the nation; to now become comical and totally make a mockery of us as a people is a horrendous blunder.

I mean since the advent of the monstrous Boko Haram group that have helped us affirm our fear over the gross incompetence of security in this nation, by taking the fight to the SSS headquarters weeks ago – causing a huge hullabaloo as intoxicated power leaders who are a misfit sought refuge in secret places; ditching their security details. They escaped with their agbada tied as wrapper to their buttocks, government have been rolling out various myths to serve as a coy from the matters at hand.

Firstly, it started with our ‘prime minister’ – oh, you did not know we had one? Well it is an unofficial position given to the coordinating minister of the federation but do not say I told you that. As I was saying before that information I gave you, the minister told us just few days back that 1.8 million youths employed in the country monthly. When I heard it, I needed to check my television, my time and my phone number to be sure I had not been relocated to another country because in the country I live in before that sudden time machine took me to the minister’s imagination, I am sure that out of every 10 Nigerian youth, 8 are ‘gainfully’ unemployed. Yes gainfully as unemployment is the norm in our country.

As I was still left in a trance with our prime minister's statistic, oh forgive me the Minister of finance assertion and wondering where she had invoked those facts from, I woke up to the greatest joke today. Now with what I heard, I am going to imagine that it is an expensive joke and I will take it with levity for I am sure whoever propounded this new assertion must have been trying to pull a posthumous April fool’s stunt or missed the fool’s day. Today I woke up to the odd news that Nigeria is the leading economic nation in Africa. As if that was not enough, the news implies that we have glamorously displaced South Africa from pole position.

Consequently, we are on top of the totem pole in comparative economic boom. I wondered what makes us leading in that regard or any whatsoever. In fact, if we lead in a thing, then it has to be for insecurity, corruption is our inane nature, summary arrest and extra judicial killing is our forte. Definitely not economic success or educational progress – our universities just came back from 7 months strike and our colleges of education and polytechnics have been on 11 months strike now.

For a country to be a one leading one in the continent economically there has to be certain yardsticks. Now what are those yardsticks that help to bring a boom to any economy? They are supposed to be steady, uninterrupted power supply. Our power sector in Nigeria is comatose. In addition, unemployment has to be minimal; here, unemployment is rife, as majority of Nigerians have no meaningful or gainful employment as many trod the streets aimlessly leading to high rates of crime. Similarly, to have a buoyant economy, there has to be adequate protection of lives and properties. In Nigeria, if lives are insignificant, people slaughtered in their sleep like ram, and if they are not bombed into pieces, there are accidental discharges of bullets by law enforcement officers.

Furthermore, such country must have adequate, safe means of transportation. In Nigeria, our airspace is unsafe with planes dropping like lost kites because I have never even seen birds drop dead while flying the way our planes crash is disastrous for they either cannot land, land improperly or fly into homes of people as it they are nests for birds. Road transportation is equally in a sorry state as roads are deplorable with holes that can swallow up a whole car on major roads and trailers carrying highly inflammable substances plying same roads and running into other vehicles. Is it our train system that is mostly non-existent that makes us a leading economy? In fact, Nigerians marvel when they see locomotive trains dancing on the rails.

Whatever the yardsticks are, they sure are a mirage in Nigeria, and if they are trying to hypnotise us with lies as usual, we are not falling for this as it insults are collective intelligence. I must however give the presidency credit for owning up that the country is not extremely poor. At least for once, they admit Nigeria is poor either way they look at it.