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Pragmatic, reserved and a deep thinker who loves family, sports especially football where am married to two wives: the first, AC Milan who has my loyalty and the second wife, Manchester United who has all my undying love and pampering, lifestyle and society parties. Need I say the law is more than a profession but a lifestyle for me.

Adekanye Adeyinka Olajide.

I do it for me

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You are here: Home / DISTANCE THE BARRIER?


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Too often, relationships end or prevented from happening mainly because of the inequitable barrier of distance. In fact, it has become more of a slogan or a rhyme to end a relationship rather unjustifiably, abruptly, or to thwart an attempt of it happening. Truly, for some, it is a ready-made excuse, which certainly is sickening as it is in no way melodious to be told ‘I would have loved to be yours but for the distance.’

I perfectly understand that for some, love not felt if a void created by the absence of a partner. For these types of people, love has to come in flesh when called upon, open and touched in the physical, and felt when reached out to for it to be real. Anything short of this to them is a show of negligence and utter disregard for the confessed heartfelt feelings. However, this to me is farcical. As much as presence is a necessary package that comes with love, it is not a basis to build solely on.

Love is a feeling nurtured, which only comes by fervent trial. There is no better test of love than through absence for this is the only way to test ones resolve to commit and to dedicate to loving especially when dating. It is a major prerequisite that one craves for the beloved, hence, there must be a longing filled with an incomparable desire to want to have and behold. This can only be achieved through absence for too much presence might become overbearing and boring.

Whenever I hear of partners complaining about distance, I just laugh because I sense insecurity, a lack of will, as well as absolute lack of true love. Ideally, distance helps to appreciate, cherish, and value what we have in its absence. The distance provokes the greatest passion to conquer our fears daring us to do the impossible. Once we begin to feel in our soul that no other love matches what we feel and that there is no better place to be than with our beloved, then we have crossed the bridge of our doubts consequently giving us assurances that we have found a home for our heart.

After all, this same distance fortified the love of those before us. I am referring to those who could only reach their beloved through equestrians - who journeyed for months before the letter delivered, and had to wait for a few more months to get a response. Distance never given the beauty of victory because they never got weary regardless of the space created! In fact, there were those who had no medium of getting messages across except they returned from war yet their love was daily renewed. History actually records some who wrote on their clothes with feathers using their blood as ink to get across simply because there were no other means.

It is therefore a shame that the world today, seeks to love only when it is convenient, where insignificant sacrifices made. The love of the modern world seeks pleasure to the body rather than unfathomable joy to the heart; the world recognises only love that meets brief needs as long as it is gratifying not those that stand the test of time proving it worthy.

It is cynical to object to love based on distance. In matters of love, nothing stands as a barrier as there are no conjectures about who one loves. The true tests of love are trials, tribulations that attempt to tear love apart like an earthquake, and it established through the coming together of two tributaries against all odds. Therefore, the barrier is never the distance between lovers but the frailties of the mind and the absence of true affection.

Love wanes off not because of the distance but because of our incompetence to stay loyal, our inability to trust, and to thrive regardless of the space. It dies when the heart gets weary and loses hope of belief in the person making them untrue to each other. It never expires because of the distance.

Please join me in wishing my true blood, the brother I have been blessed with from another mother, a delightful birthday as he celebrates today and join me in praying that the seed deposited in Adebowale Asiru, grows to benefit the world as he fulfils purpose. Hearty cheers beloved and thanks for always. I love and cherish you.