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Pragmatic, reserved and a deep thinker who loves family, sports especially football where am married to two wives: the first, AC Milan who has my loyalty and the second wife, Manchester United who has all my undying love and pampering, lifestyle and society parties. Need I say the law is more than a profession but a lifestyle for me.

Adekanye Adeyinka Olajide.

I do it for me

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You are here: Home / MEN ON STRIKE.

MEN ON STRIKE.

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Women usually do not appreciate us men. They assume a lot and believe they are the centre of attention and without them; the world cannot function properly. Some even espouse that they give the spine to existence as a whole. Others opined that they are the only valid reason for procreation as they nurture the foetus in the womb; bearing the pain, we cannot comprehend until birth when they go through racking pains of delivery. Women brag a lot about their ability to multitask, coordinate, manage, administer, just to mention a few; and they sure have the bragging rights really.

However, these assertions of the women got me thinking and I came to a point especially after seeing an old movie titled ‘mothers on strike’ where I asked myself what it would be like if men world over, went on strike? Yes, you heard me right. What would it be like if all men went on an indefinite strike to abandon the things so meagre that women assume are not important. After all, they have even dubbed their rooted ideology in ‘what a man can do, a woman can do better.’ Hence, I do not think they will miss us that much because our bits are so inconsequential for them to notice.

I know that for some men around the world, a strike action might be an idea too desperate but for us Nigerians, downing tools is an attribute we have gallantly imbibed. The phenomenon here has become a perpetual habit of claiming our rights. Besides, it gives us ample time to rest and relax from our daily jobs. Therefore, rather than point out the things we do, we are just going to suspend all our manly duties and face our business squarely *straight face.*

Now let us imagine a world starting from tomorrow morning without us washing our ladies cars and refusing to help them check the plugs, engine oil and radiator water. We leave all that and just carry out the routine mechanical checkups on our own vehicles and zoom off. I am sure they will not notice it until they realise there are many dirty cars on the road and then trust me, many cars might over heat or worse still, have their engines knocked. This oversight also includes refusing to help any woman change their flat tires – that sure will be a lovely scene to behold considering they all go out these days in micro-mini skirts. For those who manage to change theirs successfully, there will be no man to pump the flat tires since men do vulcanizing.

This also affects our domestic duties, we will refuse to change bad bulbs or even the socket for their washing machines, and when water refuses to pump into the reservoir, we will not help in priming the machine. For the women who cannot even power their phones on or complain of their tablets not charging, we will just overlook and concentrate on our mission. It also includes not providing replacements for household utensils and appliances once they do not concern us directly. We will not be responsible for ploughing your garden and even ironing of your clothe is not in our prerogative interest.

Most pertinently, we will not provide any financial support to our women. We know we are their Automated Teller Machines even though they never admit that in our presence. Nevertheless, we will not provide for their phone recharge voucher, fuel money, their pocket money, food allowances that spills with all the excesses and no miscellaneous money of any kind. During this strike period, like employers of labour, women have to respect our decision until our terms met that they fully acknowledge we are irreplaceable. Pending that time, we plead to be financially independent and financially emancipated.

Throughout this period, we would just like to sit in front of our television and watch all the matches on air without having to share the remote control. It is very crucial though that you give us enough space and not pester us with issues between you and the children. We are on strike too when it comes to instilling discipline as long as we are not directly affected by the commotion or rebellion.

Remember that this boycott extends to the bedroom and all activities no matter how appealing it might seem, we want exemption from sure duties. As you are conversant with strike matters in Nigeria, we would have walked to designated spots for our protests so we will be morose when we return. All we will need is a sound sleep for the task ahead. Consequently, if any family occasion arises, or some gathering; we will not be under any obligation to follow you through this period.

Signed by concerned male, thanking women for their understanding and anticipated support.

ADEKANYE ADEYINKA OLAJIDE.