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Pragmatic, reserved and a deep thinker who loves family, sports especially football where am married to two wives: the first, AC Milan who has my loyalty and the second wife, Manchester United who has all my undying love and pampering, lifestyle and society parties. Need I say the law is more than a profession but a lifestyle for me.

Adekanye Adeyinka Olajide.

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You are here: Home / WOMEN: HOW DOES FAMILY AND CAREER MIX?

WOMEN: HOW DOES FAMILY AND CAREER MIX?

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Following the gradual emergence of the white man’s customs, traditions, education and their general way of life, which has almost brought about the sudden death of the rich African culture, many of our values relegated if not completely swallowed by the belly of the earth. The kings of the soil so long eat them up that we barely remember any.

One of the most badly hit are family values. Women now drag the trousers with men as if they carry spears in between their legs and carry shoulder pads in their tops to raise their shoulders high to reveal the confidence they bask in with the equality of genders. Women literally do all types of jobs that used to be exclusively in the rights of men. Flaunting their competence and expertise in the handling of machines used for the explorations and discovery of the earth’s treasures, spending month’s on-shore, bearing arms and ammunitions to guard borderlines.

Truly, the old order is smashed, deep customs not just uprooted but made ashes. The ideas of roles of women being hoe builders, family planners, leader of the homestead have been shattered and demolished. Women are now in the forefront, keeping the line, in government making executive decisions. The days of having them grind pepper on the stone, fetch water from the stream with various ululations sang is over, when it was their duty to take care of the children and make sure their husbands returned home to their warm embrace and a shining, bright face to hot dishes is long dead.

Those days when it was a taboo for a woman to turn her back to her husband are but fairy tales. Now, they will not just turn their backs but sleep in a different room complaining of exhaustion and constricting road strictures on their path other than the red flag.

The kitchens are now very peaceful and dead. Their goals placed above the interest of the family. All that matters is their career and the impact they have on the lives of those directly under them. Their immediate family can suffer else, cut off like the climber tree. Babies no longer fed with the milk of the breasts; weaned so that they can return to work.

I ask myself if women no longer read the Bible where the roles of women clearly spelt out. I am a strong believer in God and I know his laws are forever present needing no amendments and are timeless. I have been asking many questions these days because I am not a shy man, and am not afraid of anyone. Neither can I be easily browbeaten; not even by the frightening toll of events. Have human become wiser than God? Why do we so easily swap roles? Is career more purposeful than family?

I know too well that we must rebuke laziness of all forms. A lazy wife is not inspiring just as we laugh at a lazy man because they both only consume without producing. However, what is the purpose of a career we build when our homes contradict the values of dedication, commitment, leadership by example, diligence, and responsibility we espouse? What is the essence of the goals we chase if at the end it they are defeated because of our dissipated home?

Women no doubt have a unique gift of mentoring children and even men; harnessed only by dedicating time to exhibit it. As much as they are a helpmate, it is clear that they should play only a supportive role by being home-builders while the men protect, provide, and honour them. It is their prerogative to be submissive first to their naturally ordained roles specially made for them and then to foster a happy home.

Indeed, a woman should procreate, nurture, build, and guard jealously her home as a mother hen. There sure is no harm in helping because no matter how much a man is the head of the home, she is the entire body. In fact, she is the oil that lubricates the smooth running of the body.

What is the use of a woman who returns home 12midnight to a sleeping family and is the first to hit the road at dawn? Is she not but a stranger even to the ones she sailed to earth? How will she know a child’s predicament when she is never there? Should her career be more important than her family? Is it the career that she builds that will stand by her when she is wane, tired, and listless or the home we raise?

Attaching to a career is like cutting oneself loose from the source and then flung around by the wind like the dead dry leaves of the mango tree at the back of my house in December.

When all attention put solely on career as the eagle does its prey, and there is no preference for family, it is like a severance of the baby from the cord.

ADEKANYE ADEYINKA OLAJIDE.